Letters
by dragonvulpix
Summary: Sometimes the best form of communication isn't vocal. Faberry. T just to be safe. Don't like it? Don't read it, simple as that. :
1. Introduction

Rachel Berry slowly opened her locker door and sighed; it had been a long day. Everyone had decided to gang up on her the moment she had walked into the school that morning and hadn't stopped until she left Glee.

She was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of paper fluttering to the floor and she smiled; there was still the potential for her day to end well. She looked down at the carefully folded paper with her name written so elegantly in gold pen. The hand writing was familiar; the hand writing was Quinn's.

They had been writing to each other for a while now, slipping notes in to each other's lockers when the other wasn't around. It had become a regular thing; though it started out few and far between. Quinn always sent her a small note apologizing for yelling at her in the halls or not being able to stop yet another slushy facial. Sometime Quinn would actually compliment her clothing or her hair and there have been days where Quinn has actually called her pretty. The letters always came on bad days such as this one; but when Rachel picked up the paper it felt different, it felt life changing.

Of course she was just being dramatic, no letter could change her life; especially not one from Quinn Fabray. She shoved in carefully into her back pack anyways, opting to read it in the privacy of her own home instead of at school.


	2. September 17th, 2010

_**September 17**_

Dear Rachel

I've never written a letter before – well, not since I used to write to my pen-pal Ruth from the Netherlands when I was nine. I never did reply to her last letter...

Anyway, like I said, I've never really written a letter before, but I wanted to write this to you.

I wanted to say I'm sorry for how I reacted yesterday when you hugged me in the girls' bathroom. I know you were only trying to help because you knew I was upset and you wanted to make me feel better and support me, because you're a good friend. And I'm not. I overreacted. I shouldn't have shouted at you, and I'm sorry I called you the 'd' word. I should never have said that, I don't even believe it, but even if you were I wouldn't care.  
Anyway, I'm sorry. I know this is a little late and I should have said it then. I wanted to, but...I guess I was ashamed. It's never exactly been easy for me to say sorry. Even when I was a kid I never said sorry. But that might have been because I was a good liar and never needed to. But I bet that even if I had had to I wouldn't have. It's just not something I've ever found easy to say. I can imagine what people would say if they read this; 'Quinn Fabray unable to speak her mind! Impossible.' But it's true.

And while I'm on the subject, I may as well apologise for the other day too. For when we were in the locker room and Santana and Brittney were making fun of you, of your clothes, when they gave you that slushy facial. I should have stood up for you, and I didn't. I guess I was scared. I know it sounds stupid but it's like I need them to like me. I know everyone thinks I'm like 'the leader of the gang' or whatever, but I'm not. I need them more than they need me. Without them, I don't have anyone. And I don't think I could handle that.

It's pathetic I know. I'm a pathetic coward; I wish I wasn't like this. I wish I could be like you, just happy to be myself. And I know it's completely irrelevant and probably doesn't mean anything to you now but, I really liked what you were wearing.

But I'm scared. I'm scared because if people knew the real me they'd run a mile. They'd ditch me or turn against me and I'd be all alone.

Anyway, I'm babbling now, so I'll let you go.

I don't even know if I can send this, but if I do I hope you can forgive me.

Quinn


	3. September 19th, 2010

Dear Quinn Fabray,

I apologize for not getting back to you sooner. I hope you understand that receiving any sort of communication from you is quite a shock; an apology is just baffling. However, I do accept the aforementioned apology.

I hope you know that I didn't intentionally want to invade on you when you were in such a vulnerable predicament. I was simply looking for a bathroom that wasn't occupied so I could reapply my make-up in peace. To be honest though, my heart kind of broke when I saw you sitting on the floor sobbing; I felt compelled to make it better. But I digress, I apologize for invading.

I would also like to state that I understand why you pushed me away and told me to get out of your face. I know that in your position I would have done the same thing to anyone who tried to help me; no one likes to be caught at their worst… especially by someone who they dislike. I don't blame you for doing what you did and I am not angry.

I really do appreciate the apology, just so you are aware. I didn't expect anything of the sort from you and it was a pleasant surprise. However, I must ask… is this part of some plan you and Santana have? It's not like you at all to apologize, ever. I admit fully that I am slightly terrified as to why a letter from you of any kind was in my locker.

Also don't worry about the slushy facials Santana and Brittany give me… I hate to say it but, you get used to it after having it happen to you every day for 3 years; it's like clockwork. I know your reputation is everything to you so I never once expected or asked you to stop them. I think if Quinn Fabray ordered a cease fire on Rachel Berry, people would have a heart attack…

Thank you again for your letter, it was nice.

Sincerely,  
Rachel Berry

P.S  
You should write to your pen pal sometime.


	4. September 20th, 2010

Dear Rachel

I don't know why you're apologising to me, but thank you; I'm glad you accept my apology, even if I don't deserve it.

It's really sweet that you were concerned about me, I really am touched. I just wish I had told you so at the time.

And just so you know, I don't dislike you. And no, Santana and Brittany don't know anything about this. No one does, except us of course. Not that I blame you for fearing the worst, but I promise there is no trick, and you have nothing to be terrified of. I just wanted to say sorry.

I know I have never really talked to you properly, or given you any reason to talk to me for that matter, but that doesn't mean I don't want you too.

I never wanted to give you the impression that you can't talk to me. I was really happy to get your reply, and, although you don't have to if you don't want to, I'd love if you wrote back. Or talked to me at school, or in Glee. I promise I won't bite.

Also, I will do my best to stop the slushy facials. You shouldn't have to have gotten used to them. I'm not promising anything, but I'll try. My reputation is important to me, but not for the reasons you might think, and I guess I've been doing a lot of thinking about that.

Anyway, thank you for the reply. I'm glad you accept my apology.

Quinn Fabray


	5. September 24th, 2010

Dear Quinn Fabray,

Of course I accepted your apology. It is not every day one Head Cheerio Quinn Fabray apologizes. None the less I still really appreciated it and you did deserve it. I'm sure apologizing couldn't have been easy.

Quinn, you were in a public bathroom having what looked like a really bad breakdown, anyone with half a brain would be concerned. You were also in no state to tell anyone you appreciated the gesture of kindness; so don't worry about it.

If you don't dislike me then what's with all the "abuse" over the years? The name calling and the insults? That comes off as dislike, you know. In light of the aforementioned abuse, of course I am more than sceptical about the interaction between us so don't be offended because I'm not up for talking in person quiet yet.

If you've wanted to talk to me so badly, you should have come up to me and maybe talked to me like a human being instead of some monster who is below you. I'm sorry Quinn but that's how you've treated me and it's hard to look past it and see this as genuine. I'm trying though because I always thought that maybe you could be a really good person. I got a glimpse of that person when you were pregnant with Beth.

When something is thrown in your face every day for years you have to get used to it. I know that seems stupid but if I got upset over every slushy that's been thrown in my face then I would probably be upset 90% of the time. I do however, think that a cease-fire would be unwise; people would obviously think something is up.

Your reputation is important to you for all the reason I do think, you know that. You've been on the bottom and you hated every minute of it. You want to hoard all of the attention and fear you get because it fuels you. You're scared, just like the rest of us; except you have the luxury of being on top and not having to worry. High school is a nice place for you; I wish I could say the same.

Sorry if this seems like a malicious attack on you but it's not. You should just know that I am terrified of where this whole letter thing is going to lead because I don't trust you. I'm really sorry but I don't.

Thank you for another letter and I'm sorry that my response once again took so very long.

Sincerely,  
Rachel Berry


	6. September 26th, 2010

Dear Rachel

I would apologise for the abuse I've hurled at you over the years, but I know it won't make any difference now. I cannot take back all the hurtful things I've said and as much as I wish I could, I cannot undo the damage between us, if ever there was even an 'us' to begin with, which I doubt.

I can obviously see why you would think I dislike you, but I really don't. And as much as I would love to be able to offer you an explanation, I can't.

I am glad you think I could be a nice person, and I hope you're right. But, truth is, you don't know me. Nobody does. And that is why I behave the way I do around you. There are some things that I just don't want people to know, and this is my way of hiding it. I'm sorry that you have had to suffer because of this.

But like I said in my previous letter, I have been thinking a lot. Especially in the past year, ever since Beth was born, I guess she just made me realign my priorities.

You were right, I am scared. I am more scared than you can imagine. And I guess you're right about me wanting to stay on top because I feel powerful there. But that is not the only reason I feel scared.

I don't blame you for not trusting me, and for not wanting to talk to me. I guess that was just wishful thinking anyway.

Thank you again for accepting my apology.

Quinn Fabray


	7. September 27th, 2010

Dear Quinn,

You're very right; there is no point in apologizing because what is done is in fact, done. I however do accept your implied apology. I hope you don't think I was trying to guilt you into an apology with my last letter because that wasn't my intention. I was simply stating the reasons for why I am kind of thrown off by this whole interaction.

I know you said you don't dislike me but once again I must state the obvious. The way you treated me was dislike, Quinn. I really want to understand what you mean by all of this, I do. It's really hard to see past what I am so used to. I must admit though, each one of these letters makes me want to try to see you for who you really are so much more.

You should let someone really know you Quinn. I know it's hard when you live in what seems to be a lie and it's nothing but painful. I also know it's hard to let someone in when you've kept a wall up for so many years but having a real friend is worth trying to be your real self, no matter how hidden it is. If I were to be honest I would say that I already sort of pegged the abuse as an act. I suppose that could once again be the person I saw in you when you were pregnant though. I'm sorry that you have to suffer through this too. Hiding is just as painful as any abuse you've cause me to endure, I'm sure.

You know Quinn, you really don't have to be scared. I know that seems really silly of me to say but it's true. You're the head Cheerio, you're pretty, popular and smart; you can do anything or be anyone and no one would bat an eyelash because of your status. I guess power can be an evil thing to possess though so I assume you're terrified that one little change in you would knock you down the ladder; especially since Santana is obviously still holding that grudge against you for demoting her from head Cheerio.

You should really try and be more honest with yourself Quinn. You could always keep a little notebook with all of your mental musings so at least whatever you're scared of telling anyone will be real, for you. You don't ever have to tell anyone really, as long as it's real for you; that way you wouldn't feel like you're so much lying as you are being private. It's just a silly little thought though.

I don't trust you but I almost feel like I want to. I also never said I didn't want to talk to you; I just said I don't think I can do it to your face. I am harboring way too many emotions and I think if we were to speak in person I would resemble you on the bathroom floor that day.

You're welcome again for accepting it. Keep your chin up, Quinn.

Sincerely,  
Rachel Berry


	8. September 28th, 2010

Dear Rachel

I know this probably doesn't make any sense to you, and I can see why you're confused. But I don't dislike you, I envy you. And the more of your words I read, the more I wish I was like you.

Living a lie is all I have known so, painful or not it's my life. I would love for a friend to know me properly, but that's a contradiction of terms, because if someone knew the real me they wouldn't want to be a friend. Why do you think Brittney and Santana still talk to me?

I can assure you I am honest with myself, its everyone else that see's me as something I'm not. I know, deep down, who I am. But I also know that I cannot let anyone see that yet. I wish I knew how to make you understand. I do have to be scared. But it's not having power that scares me, or even the thought of losing power. In truth, sometimes I think it would be better if I were to be at the bottom again. At least then I could stop living a lie. But the thing that scares me is that I know, sooner or later I will lose everything again, and I don't know if it will all be worth it, or if it will backfire and I'll end up with nothing. I don't know whether that's a chance I'll ever be willing to take.

I don't expect you to understand any of this, I guess maybe I should take your advice and start a journal or something, that way I will stop bothering you with these ramblings.

I wouldn't ever want you to end up like me that day, and I promise that given half a chance I will make sure you never have to. I am glad that you want to trust me, because under the circumstances that is more that I could ever have hoped for. I don't expect you to trust me or talk to me, but the fact that you're still writing back is testament enough. You have no idea what it means to me.

Quinn Fabray


	9. September 30th, 2010

Dear Quinn,

You're right, I don't understand. But I am willing to listen if you ever needed someone to talk. I know you probably don't want to talk to me of all people but I am here if you are in dire need.

I know I'm just going to sound like a self-help book but you don't need to live a lie. You may think everyone would hate you or whatever if you were your true self but I can't think of anything that could possibly be that bad that your friends would turn their backs on you. No offence Quinn, but Santana isn't really a good example of a friend.

At least you're honest with yourself. I know sometimes that can be the hardest part of a secret. I wish you weren't so hard on yourself because you seem like a really nice and slightly misunderstood person. You deserve happiness just like everyone else. True happiness, that is.

At the risk of coming off as an idiot, I am going to say what I think you could do. I know it seems like a really stupid idea but maybe you should quit the Cheerios and just sink into the background for a while if you want to be at the bottom. You could rebuild yourself back up as the person you obviously want to be and not this person who everyone wants you to be. You'll also never know if something will backfire unless you try.

I think starting a journal would be beneficial but don't do it just because you think you're bothering me. I'm actually really happy to help or listen or whatever you need. It seems you don't really have someone who you can talk to about this whole thing and if I can in any way help with that, I will.

You're talking like you're going to somehow be my knight in shining armor when things go wrong and I want to have a break down or two. Now there's an amusing image. I do want to trust you and for some reason every letter is making that a lot easier to do. What did you hope to gain from this anyways? Since it wasn't supposed to be some kind of prank I am intrigued as to what it actually is…

Sincerely,  
Rachel Berry


	10. October 18th, 2010

Dear Rachel

I'm sorry for the long delay in writing back, I guess I didn't really know what to say in response to your last letter.

Thank you for your offer to talk, I might take you up on that sometime.

To be honest I don't know what I hoped to achieve, I guess I just wanted to talk to someone who wouldn't judge me, without having to look them in the eye. I know that sounds cowardly, but I guess that's just me.

I know that you of all people wouldn't judge me or turn your back on me, but other people would. My family would. Which is why I am not sure whether I'm ready to take that chance yet, whether I ever will be.

There is so much I wish I could explain to you, but I don't know how. One day, somehow, I hope I will find the words.

As much as I would love to be your knight in shining armour, I can't promise miracles. I can try to keep looking out for you though. At least I managed to stop one slushy facial, even if they did get you later (sorry about that by the way).

Thank you for your support, as always

Quinn Fabray


	11. October 19th, 2010

Dear Quinn,

I was wondering what happened to you.

Your actions spoke a lot louder than anything you could have said back. I'm shocked that you would quit the Cheerios but I'll admit I am also kind of proud. You are obviously committed to this change that you want to make and you took one of the hardest steps already. That takes so much courage, Quinn.

If you ever need me, I'm here for you. Despite everything that you and I have gone through I will never turn my back on you. I won't ever judge you; I think everyone has enough judgment to make up for my lack thereof. Anyone who judges you isn't worth your time, you know that right?

I know you're not ready to explain anything to me but if one day you are willing to tell me than I will be more than happy to listen; assuming we are up to verbal communication by then. Frankly though, I enjoy the letters.

By the way, I don't really care what your reasoning behind the first letter to me was. I'm just happy you chose me. Is that weird?

I don't expect miracles from you, Quinn. I expect growth as a person because I think you are honestly committed to this change you have started.

They may be baby steps, but I am so proud of you.

Sincerely,  
Rachel Berry


	12. October 31st, 2010

Dear Rachel

Sorry (again) for not replying sooner. I guess I just needed to think. And I've certainly been doing a lot of that recently.

I'm glad that someone is proud of me. Sue hates me right now for having 'ruined' her routine, and I must admit I feel bad for quitting, after trying so hard to get my position back and even fighting with Santana over it.

Santana and Brittney are angry with me at the moment too. They know I'm hiding something. Seems like all I'm doing at the moment is upsetting people. Except you, Rachel.

Who would have guessed it? You and me, getting on like this. I'm glad you enjoy the letters, I enjoy them too. I always look forward to opening my locker, just in case one falls out. Baby steps or not, I don't think I could have done any of this without your letters.

I took your advice and started a journal. I don't know yet if it's helping or not, but... well, anyway I've included a bit from it. You don't have to say what you think, but I just thought maybe you'd like to read it. You don't have to if you don't want...

Anyway, thank you for, just thank you.

Quinn

x x x

_October 31_

_It's Halloween, but I don't feel like celebrating. _

_I can't seem to get Beth out of my head tonight. I wonder if she's dressed up. I can just see her in a little pumpkin outfit, with those tiny little hands clutched around a lolly. _

_I miss her. I know I shouldn't, because she's safe and loved, but I wish I hadn't given her up. Some days its okay, and I can feel happy knowing that she's happy. But on nights like this, I just want to hold her. To take her trick or treating. To do things that proper parents do. I wonder if she can even walk yet. I suppose she can, I don't really know babies very well. So I suppose it's best that I did give her up. I know that Shelby will take good care of her. _

_Sam texted me tonight. He wanted to know if I wanted to go Breadstix tonight. I didn't reply. Maybe that's a little harsh, he's trying after all, but knowing what I know now, I can't even think about him, or any other guy for that matter. I just want to be left by myself. Maybe it's for the best that way. _

_Maybe I'm just not meant to be around other people. _


	13. November 2nd, 2010

Dear Quinn,

I'm not sure what to say other than the fact that I am so thankful you shared that with me.

I'm sorry that you think everyone is angry with you but I'm sure that Santana and Brittany will get over it; at least they will if they actually care about you. Coach Sylvester will eventually see that maybe quitting was best for you and maybe she'll see that not everything is about her. I doubt it though. For the most part I think you need to ignore her. I know it'll be hard because she was or is your mentor but she's really only bringing you down. You couldn't upset me Quinn because all I want is for you to be happy and your real self. I support you in every endeavour as long as it's beneficial to your growth.

I honestly never thought I would be able to talk to you like I am now or giving you advice. I really like it though. I will admit that I do look forward to a letter from you and it's been kind of sad not hearing from you every couple of days. I would have asked you if you were okay in person but… do you ever feel like what you have is just a glass ball waiting to break and any actual sound will cause it to shatter? Because that's how I feel. I'm glad that I could help you through this because I think this is probably a really huge step for you and I do only want the best for you.

Once again, thank you for sharing the journal entry with me and if you don't mind I am going to comment on it. You can disregard this part of you'd like. It's natural to miss her, you know. You can't carry something like that in you and feel it grow and give it life and expect to feel no emotions towards her afterwards. She's still your baby, Quinn, and she always will be. You're always going to love her and every holiday or birthday you're going to feel a throb in your chest but it will ease up with time. I know time seems like an impossible thing to wait for but it does help with healing. For now though I think cutting human interaction can only be detrimental to you. Distract yourself by going out to dinner and hanging out with your friends. I know it seems like the hardest thing in the world when you have what feels like the weight of the world on your shoulders but you can do it; you're so strong.

When you feel like this just remember that someone who was strong enough to give her baby girl to someone else because she knew she couldn't give her the life she deserved can also have the strength to face the emotions and deal accordingly. You also have people behind you who are waiting to catch you if you fall. So if you feel like it's too overwhelming just remember that you have so many people who will be your shoulder if you need them to be, whether they are angry at you or not.

I believe in you Quinn.

Sincerely,  
Rachel Berry


	14. November 3rd, 2010

Dear Rachel

I hope you're proud of yourself, I have never cried over a letter until now.

I know what you mean about having something so delicate it feels like it's going to break. My whole life feels like that at the moment, like if I make the slightest sound or put one foot wrong its going shatter and I'll be left alone in the ruins. I'm trying to change, but I'm not sure I'm quite ready to watch my world fall apart just yet.

These letters are helping though. In one of your letters you said even though you'd like to talk face to face, you enjoy the letters. I don't know if this is what you meant but I like the secrecy of it. It's not that I would be ashamed to talk to you in public, don't get me wrong, but it's like in our letters we can say what we like and no one else has to know. It's private and personal. And besides, you can't keep a spoken conversation in a box next to your bed.

I guess you're right about Beth; it's just hard not to feel guilty. After all the stress and problems I caused everybody, and all the lying and cheating, I never felt like I deserved something so small and innocent. I know she'll be better off with Shelby, I just keep thinking of all the things I'd like to say to her one day, if I ever get the chance.

Maybe I'll write them down.

I know I should try to be social but it's so hard to keep up pretences when all I want to do is sit on my own and figure out what to do with my life. It's not their fault, I know that, and I shouldn't punish them by shutting them out, I just wish I knew what to say to them. It's like, every time I'm with them I can feel the sympathy just emanating off them and I can't stand it. They all seem to think I'm going to fall apart at any second.

It makes me so glad I've got you. I don't know if I should call you a friend as such, but that's what you feel like to me. Sorry if it's overstepping a line or anything, but it's true. And right now you're the only person I can talk to.

Quinn Fabray


	15. November 5th, 2010

Dear Quinn,

I didn't mean to make you cry! I'm so sorry!

I know you said you're afraid of your world shattering around you but maybe that's just what you need. Maybe you need to lose your friends and get your parents mad at you. I know that sounds ridiculous but maybe by doing that you can find friends who will support you fully and maybe in breaking down your walls, your mom might break down hers and you can communicate with her openly. (I'm sorry; I overheard you talking to Santana about your mom)

I do enjoy the letters because I can convey the emotions I want and say the things I want while still being able to actually think about them before speaking. I know what you mean about them being our secret and I like it. I like having this connection with someone that only we get. I like the looks we get when you actually smile at me in the hallways when you're having a really good day or sad look in your eyes when you're on your way to cry in that bathroom again and only I really know why. Plus, I like re-reading the letters when I've had a really bad day.

You're allowed to be guilty about Beth. It's the most natural human emotion and most of the time it's not an emotion you can stop yourself from feeling. Just try and remember that you did do what was best for her and she will realize that when she's old enough. I think maybe you should write her a letter. You seem to be good at getting your emotions out on paper and then when you've written it just keep it and read it when you start to feel like this again and know that you've said the things that need to be said. If you want to send it, you could do that too.

I know it's hard to be social when you're feeling so much at once but sometimes you just need to go out and let the happiness of whatever it is you're doing take over. Even if it's just a distraction, happiness can only help.

You don't need to explain yourself to anyone unless you really want to. These are your emotions to deal with as you choose and you shouldn't feel like you need to tell them. When you feel their sympathy maybe you need to tell them that you're dealing and you'll be okay eventually and they don't need to treat you so delicately.

I think I'd like to call you my friend and I'd like to think that we are friends. If that's alright with you…

Sincerely,  
Rachel Berry


	16. November 8th, 2010

Dear Rachel

Its okay, it actually felt good to cry. I think you broke something in me that needed breaking.

I'll try talking to my mom, but I can't promise it'll go well. I don't know how much you heard but her drinking has got worse since she threw my dad out and since everything with Beth. She's not exactly the easiest person to talk to at the moment.

Speaking of, I wrote Beth a letter. Well actually I wrote two so I could keep one. I haven't decided whether or not to send hers though. I thought I'd share it with you, tell me what you think. It felt weird signing a letter 'mom' but it felt kind of nice too.

I can't say I had noticed the looks we get in the hallways but I'm glad people are noticing. And I am glad that you can tell how I'm feeling from a look. It makes me feel special, like I'm a book that only you can read. I know that must sound silly, but I like it anyway. And by the by, if ever you see me upset, feel free to say something. I promise I won't bit your head off again. No pressure though, I know you're still not entirely comfortable with other people at school and I don't want you to do anything that feels weird to you.

I called Sam, we're going to get going to Breadstix tomorrow after school. If you'd like to come, you'd be more than welcome, I think there's a couple of other people from Glee going too, but I totally understand if you don't want to.

I'd like us to be friends.

Quinn Fabray

x x x

Dear Beth

I know that you don't know me, but I feel like I know you. I had nine months to get to know you, and I'll treasure that time forever.

I'm writing this so you know how I felt when I gave you up, and how I feel every day since.

People always say they fell in love with their children the moment they met them. But I didn't. I fell in love with you long before I set eyes on you. You were there with me from the start, through the tears and the tantrums, the anger and the fear. When everyone else in the world hated me, you were always there, sitting just next to my heart.

You're the best thing I've ever done, and I am so proud of you. And I miss you like crazy. I want you to know that. Every day I picture your face and I wonder what you're like.

Some days I regret giving you up. Those days when I wish I could just hold you, or see you smile. But despite that, I know deep down that I did the right thing. I could never give the sort of life you deserve. I can only hope that you understand why I did it.

I will love you and miss you every day of my life, but I know that you are going to grow up loved and safe and happy. And that's all I can ask for.

I love you, always

Mom x


	17. November 9th, 2010

Dear Quinn,

I'm not sure I like the thought of breaking you in any ways but I'm glad it did if it made you feel better I'm happy I did. I won't do it again though; I have this unpleasant mental image of you breaking down now.

Maybe that's what you need to address with your mother first and foremost. Since she's a heavy drinker I doubt it'll go well. I wish I could tell you that it'll be peachy and wonderful but I don't want to set you up to watch her knock you down again. All I can tell you is that you need to be prepared and you need to stay calm. If she gets upset and you fire back at her she'll take it as an attack on her and fight back which will not end well. So just take deep breaths and if it'd help, keep this letter in your pocket and take my strength with you. I'll say it again; you're strong Quinn, you'll get through this.

I think that the letter you wrote to Beth is absolutely beautiful. If you were to give that to her I think it would be the best gift she could receive. I know what it's like to be "adopted" and not know who your mother is; had Shelby done something like that for me, I would have been so grateful. I think it was also a good idea that you wrote two so that you can always have a copy as a reminder of your strength and love.

I think I like the looks to be honest. I like knowing that I know you better than any of them ever hope to but they're oblivious. I like to think you are this crazy puzzle that no one can solve but I'm somehow closer than everyone else to solving it. I like that we have this crazy secret that no one could ever understand and it's really deep and personal and kind of crazy.

You are a book that only I can read, Quinn. I would have figured you out whether you liked it or not though because in case you haven't noticed, I have fine-tuned my knowledge of people. I can peg just about anyone and I like knowing I can do that.

I feel like we're still that glass ball that's about to shatter so I'm sorry that I don't follow you when you're upset but I am still terrified that one world will send this crumbling and I can't lose this. This is the closest to a friend I have ever had in my life and I can't give it up. I want to run after you so don't ever think I don't. I just wish I had the courage to run after you and make it better somehow but my feet and heart have different plans when that happens. Not to mention my mind is convinced that this is some kind of weird dream that I am going to wake up from at any moment. One day I'll get them all in sync and I'll be able to run after you but not yet…

In light of that I'm also going to pass up going to Breadstix. On top of all the aforementioned anxieties, the rest of glee club still seems to detest my very existence and I'm sure they don't want me hanging around. Thank you for the offer though.

I am however, very pleased that you have decided to leave your house and spend time with people instead of in your mind. You were going to drive yourself insane eventually which is not something I recommend. I don't like seeing you so upset all the time; it's honestly breaking my heart. You deserve so much happiness and I really hope you find it and soon. Have fun with Sam and whoever else is going and eat enough breadsticks for the both of us, okay?

Sincerely,  
Rachel Berry


	18. November 10th, 2010

Dear Rachel

I tried to talk to my mother today, but it didn't go very well. She seemed to be taking it well at first but when I showed her some leaflets that I got from the doctors about alcohol abuse she got angry and started swearing. I left them on the coffee table for her, in the hope that she might read them when she calms down. And wakes up.

I had that letter with me, and you were right, it did help. I said what I needed to even, if my message didn't get through. So thank you.

I'm glad you liked the letter. I thought it would be so hard to write, but once I put the pen on the paper the words just came. I guess that's what it feels like to speak from the heart.

I'm glad you think she'll like it; you've got a better idea than me what she'll feel like when she's older. I forget sometimes that you're adopted.

You really do know me better than anyone, and I love that about you. You can tell what I'm feeling with one look. I like the idea that I'm some 'puzzle', makes me sound mysterious. But if anyone could solve me it's you. And I'd like to think that maybe one day you will.

I don't know if you realise that you used the word 'crazy' three times in one line in your last letter, but I think it was quite fitting because that's how this all feels to me: crazy. Like, you and I barely ever even spoke and now you're like the best friend I have.

You don't have to apologise for not running after me, I don't expect you to. I know that this all still feels a bit weird and surreal. Every time I find a letter in my locker I still have to blink twice to make sure it is really there.

It's just nice having someone send me a smile across the hall, no words needed. And when I'm in the bathroom crying my eyes out, it's you I think of Rachel. You're the one that stops my tears. So you don't have to worry about not following me, because you're there anyway.

And don't worry about not tagging along to Breadstix, and you're welcome for the offer. Maybe one day, in the far away future, you and I will go there after school. But we're not there yet I don't think.

It was okay actually, I had a good time. I was a little uncomfortable at first and Sam must have noticed because he kept asking me if I was okay, but Finn was there so I think everyone put it down to that. I had you last letter in my bag, so I guess you were kind of there anyway.

Sometimes I want to bring these letters into school, to keep them with me every day, but I daren't in case I lose them or someone finds them. I would be heartbroken if that happened.

And besides, if someone else got their hands on them it wouldn't be special anymore. It wouldn't be our little secret.

I look forward to your next letter.

Quinn Fabray


	19. November 12th, 2010

Dear Quinn,

I'm sorry that the talk with your mother didn't go as well as you wanted it to but you have to remember that addicts don't like to think their addiction is wrong. I think it's good that you picked up some stuff on it for her to read and maybe she'll look them over when she wakes up and is a tad bit more sober. I hope that she can get some help because I think the alcohol abuse is driving a spike into your relationship. I'm also glad that you kept the letter with you and it helped you stay strong.

You can really tell that you put a lot of effort into writing the letter to Beth and you obviously tried to convey that you do love her but you just couldn't give her what she needed. I think if you do give it to her that she will love it.

I'm not really adopted per say because one of my fathers is my real dad but we still have no idea which one. Shelby was simply my surrogate mother which I am not sure is any better or worse than being adopted because I still grew up without a mom. Although I guess Beth isn't going to grow up without a mom; she's just not going to have her real mom. I still think you did the right thing.

I'm honestly surprised you let me get to know you this well since you said you were terrified to be yourself because everyone would leave you. I don't really understand what you mean by that because I think this Quinn is kind of amazing. You are mysterious Quinn but you're becoming less mysterious to me. Which is good considering that I seem to know you so well.

I think it's kind of crazy too, now that you mention it. You and I had never really talked at all and now two months later you're someone I'm kind of proud to call my friend.

I'm glad I can help you when you're sad even though I'm not physically there. I really do want to be there for you, you know. One day I will be, I promise.

I'm glad you had a good time at Breadstix, you needed it. How are things with Sam?

Sincerely,  
Rachel Berry


	20. November 13th, 2010

Dear Rachel

I'll keep trying with mom but I don't know if it'll be worth it or not. She never used to be this bad, but ever since dad left she's been getting worse and worse and I don't know how much longer she can last like this. To be honest I don't know how long I can last.

Sometimes I just want to run away. Somewhere, anywhere away from here. I never could though. I have nowhere to go.

I mailed the letter to Beth. I have no idea how long I spent pacing in front of that post box but I did it. I just hope Shelby keeps it somewhere safe for her until she's old enough to read it herself.

It doesn't surprise me that you like this side of me, I never expected you to judge the real me. It's the rest of the world I'm scared of.

It made me smile when you said you're proud to call me a friend. No one has ever said anything like that to me before. People have been pleased to be seen with me and even felt proud of themselves to be affiliated with me, but no one has ever actually been proud to be my friend. To be honest you're the first person who's ever actually been a friend to me.

You do help. More than I could ever put into words.

Things are okay with Sam, he's still being kind of weird around me; I don't know why he can't get the hint that I'm just not interested. I know it's not really his fault, but it's something I could really do without right now.

Quinn Fabray


	21. November 15th, 2010

Dear Quinn,

I think getting your mom back would be worth it. No one should have to suffer though anything like this and it's unfair to your both. You need your mom; as silly as that sounds. And the fact that you don't have her or any solid parental figure in your life can be detrimental. I hope you two can work it out, I really do.

I think if you ran away than none of your problems will get solved. No matter where you go your problems will eventually find you. I think it would just be better for you to deal with your stuff now than have you run away or just move on after high school and have this huge stack of unsolved problems.

I'm glad you sent the letter. I'm sure Shelby will keep it safe for Beth until she is old enough to read it and understand. Shelby has been in your place before with me so she knows how important the note will be for both you and Beth.

Of course I like this side of you, my only question is where have you been hiding? I would never judge you or anyone for that matter. No one should be judged because it only serves to make the world into a horrible place. I just wish we could all accept each other and move on with our lives. I know people judge you because you're pretty and you were the head Cheerio and popular but I think it was more because other than the pregnancy you seemed like you had no issues. No one besides Santana and Brittany and now me know just how hard it is for you to get through the day.

Anyone who wasn't proud to call you their friend is an idiot. I can understand why people would want to be associated with you because but those people shouldn't matter because they aren't worth your time. You're a fabulous person Quinn and I am glad that you're my friend and in turn I am honoured that you consider me a real friend. You're kind of the only real friend I have and it means a lot to me that you've let me get to know you like I have.

Like I've said many times, I am glad I can help in some way. I know what it's like to have no one to turn to or not have a shoulder to cry on and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I'm just hoping that one of these days I'll get the courage to go after you when you're upset because it's only breaking my heart more and more as time goes by to see you so sad. I have however noticed that your impromptu trips to the bathroom to cry are less frequent now and that makes me happy. You're also smiling a lot more and I wanted to tell you that you have a really beautiful smile, it kind of lights up the room.

I'm sorry that Sam can't quite understand that you're not into him. I know it's probably really annoying to have him long for you like a puppy craving attention and the last thing you need is to be annoyed on top of having to deal with your home stuff and school. You have to give him credit though; he is getting a little better with the situation. I've noticed that lately he's given you some space and he isn't trying to con you into doing every duet with him.

I hope things look up for you soon, Quinn.

Sincerely,  
Rachel Berry


	22. November 18th, 2010

Dear Rachel

I hate my life! I hate my mom, I hate my school, I hate everyone! I just...

I just want everything to stop.

I'm sure you've heard by now what happened with Coach Sylvester today, and if not well ... let's just say it got nasty.

And now Santana and Brittney aren't talking to me and everyone else in the Cheerios are gunning for my blood. Everyone hates me.

In your last letter you said that Santana and Britt know how hard it is for me to get through the day, but they don't. They know nothing of what I go through. No one does. Except you.

At least you were right about one thing: Sam has left me alone. But it's not out of kindness. He knows something, something about me. I wish I could tell you what, but the point is he's only doing it because he knows now that he doesn't have a chance with me.

I don't know what to do any more.

Quinn


	23. November 19th, 2010

Dear Quinn,

That was probably the shortest letter you've ever written me which, if I am honest, is a little unsettling. You usually at least give me a small explanation as to what is wrong. Something is obviously not alright since you are not telling me what's wrong. Quinn, you can trust me with anything. I know I told Finn about Beth not being his but that was different; I would never do something like that to you again. I couldn't hurt you like that again.

I heard what Coach Sylvester did and she was so out of line. She had no right to call you out about you leaving the squad. It's none of her business why you chose to leave and she crossed a boundary or seven when she called you out in the hallway about it; in front of the school. Although I do not condone violence I must say I am more than amused that you slapped her. I'm surprised you haven't been expelled but I think she still has a little respect for you as a human being and she probably only gained respect for you since no one has ever had the guts to stand up to one Sue Sylvester. None the less the humiliation of being slapped by a student in the middle of a hallway probably knocked her down a few pegs and I think she more than needed it.

Ignore the Cheerios because they are not worth your time. I know that seems like a hard thing to do because you were "close" with them all at one point but when it comes down to it they're just Coach Sylvester's obedient dogs; pretty to look at but stupid. People like that can only tie you down here and we both know that you want the hell out of this town. You're better than them and this town Quinn; don't let them hold you back.

Don't take this the wrong way because it's going to sound bad but its only because I cannot quite figure out how exactly to word it so it doesn't sound snide. People don't know how hard it is for you because you don't let anyone in. People can't really know how you really are unless you tell them and I know you won't ever do that so I don't want you to think I'm trying to force you to go tell Santana all your problems. I know you feel like if you told everyone you would look weak and people would give you those horrific sympathetic looks in the hallways when you walk by and I can respect that you don't want to have to deal with people giving you unwanted sympathy on top of all of your problems.

Quinn, you make yourself sound like some kind of serial killer or something when you say he knows something mysterious about you that you can't tell me. I'm sure it's not that bad but that's what it sounds like and I'd like to think if that were the case he would report you to the proper authorities. At least he's leaving you alone right? You don't have to deal with him longing after you anymore and you can work through your own stuff without worrying about hurting someone else.

So Quinn, what exactly is with all of the mystery?

Yours Truly,  
Rachel Berry


	24. November 22nd, 2010

Dear Rachel

I'm sorry my last letter was so short, and while I'm at it I may as well apologise for the shortness of this one too. Guess I don't have much to say right now.

I thought about what you said and you know, you're right; they are holding me back. And just to back you up even more I overheard something I shouldn't have today.

Coach Sylvester didn't gain any respect for me. If anything, she thinks I'm a pathetic little child who's throwing a tantrum. And thanks to her brainwashing powers so do the rest of the Cheerios. You may be interested to know that I got my first taste of a slushy facial today. And I don't care what you say, I could never get used to that.

I think it's safe to say I won't be letting anyone in anytime soon. Apparently no one wants to know me since I joined the ranks of the rest of the school; the paupers and proletariat.

I cannot wait until I can leave that school, then I can leave this stupid city and everyone in it.

I promise I'm not a serial killer, although some days I'd love to wrap my hands around someone's neck. But I digress. It's nothing like that, I swear.

Sam saw me kissing someone I shouldn't. And thankfully he has had the decency not to tell anyone. But he can also not stand to look at me anymore. I haven't decided whether that's a good thing or a bad thing yet. But yes, it does give me time to think now without worrying about him.

I guess only time will tell what delights the next few days will bring me.

Quinn


	25. November 23rd, 2010

Dear Quinn,

The fact that two of your letters are short and mysterious is really starting to bother me. I do respect that you don't really want to talk about things right now but remember I am here for you.

One day you will get out of this town and you'll get an amazing job that you will be successful in because you're Quinn Fabray and you are amazing at everything you do; whether you think you are or not. One day you'll be sitting down with your family and you'll have to laugh because you made it and everyone else is stuck in Lima without a chance in hell of getting out of here, especially the Cheerios. Coach Sylvester makes it seem like if you are active on the Cheerios and help them win title after title that you'll be able to get into any school you want without a second guess but you and I both know that the chances of that are little to none.

While we are on the subject of Coach Sylvester; she needs to suck it up and pull the stick out of her… you know what… she thinks instilling fear into kids is an effective way of controlling students but seriously, what good does it really do? Any Cheerio who isn't intelligent enough to have their own opinions and lives should be smacked until the stupid is knocked out of them. I will say it again; they are not worth your time and are indeed holding you back from being everything you could be.

I think everyone has days where they want to physically harm someone in some way but I am thankful that you are not a serial killer or something of the sort; I would have to rethink this friendship if you admitted to such things and to be honest; I really don't want to rethink this friendship… I like it a lot.

Sam shouldn't be so uptight, you two weren't dating. I must inquire as to whom you were kissing that would upset him like that though. I know it couldn't be Finn because he and I were still together around that time which only really leaves Noah. Please tell me if you were kissing Noah that you are not going to be foolish and get yourself pregnant again because I think you've suffered enough.

Yours Truly,  
Rachel Berry


	26. Novembert 25th, 2010

Dear Rachel

Thank you, I know that you're here for me, I just ... I'm still getting the hang of this opening up lark.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, I hope you're right, but if ever I am laughing because I made it, it won't be with my family. My mother kicked me out.

I'm staying at my grandparents at the moment, but I hate it here. Grandpa spends all day shouting at the TV and Grandma keeps looking at me like I'm the Devil.

Your last comments about Coach Sylvester and the Cheerios made me smile. I wish I had the confidence to say those things to her face, I really do. I'd love to see the look on her face if someone actually said it, it would make my week.

I'm glad you like this friendship, I do too. And I don't want to lose it.

Which I why I have spent a good two hours staring at this letter debating whether or not to write this. But, in the spirit of learning to open up, I will anyway.

I wasn't kissing Noah. And I think it's a safe bet to say I'm not going to fall pregnant again. Ever.

It wasn't Noah, or Finn, or anyone from school. It was a friend of mine.

Her name's Joanna.


	27. November 26th, 2010

Dear Quinn,

I know you're still getting used to actually talk about stuff and that's why I don't push you for information and just accept what you're willing to tell me. I think we're close enough for me to safely say that you'll tell me stuff in time and I respect that.

I must however ask why exactly you got kicked out again. I know you said your mother is kind of out of it with the drinking but I didn't think she would be that out of it to kick you out after just getting you back. I'm going to take a big leap here and ask you if maybe you'd like to come stay with me for a while. I know what it's like to stay with grandparents who don't "approve" of you… my grandma likes to lecture me about my future and how just because I want to be a star doesn't mean I ever will be. It's all very stressful and I don't think you need more stress so if you would be okay with it I would like it if you came and stayed with me; at least until you find a better option. I know living with me seems like it would be horrific but I promise you that I am actually mellow at home.

You have no idea the times I've wanted to walk up to coach Sylvester and say all the things I've said to you, especially recently and if you haven't heard through the gossip chain; I did. No one should treat anyone like she treats you and I am frankly sick and tired of it. I hope it made more than your week because I am sure I will be in a lot of trouble when I get to school tomorrow. I'm sorry you couldn't see it for yourself but I think Noah has a video on his phone if you're interested.

So… Joanna? Is she your girlfriend or someone you're interested in…? I hope you know I'm on your side whether you like girls or not. Tell me about her?

Sincerely,  
Rachel Berry


	28. November 27th, 2010

Dear Rachel

Before I say anything else I want to say thank you. You have no idea how many times I nearly broke into your locker to get that last letter back. Don't get me wrong, I know you wouldn't have a problem with it, but I just panicked I guess. Anyway, I'm glad you know.

Needless to say my mom did not take the news well. That's why I got kicked out. I don't know whether it was the drink or the church, but something just made her flip. I only told her because she was being really nice to me and I thought maybe she was trying to make things up to me. I wish I had never said anything.

I had to read your last letter twice to make sure I read it properly. If the offer to move in with you is still open, I'd love to. As long as it's okay with your dads of course. And I don't mind paying rent, or buying food, or something. My Grandparents are of the same view of my mother; they only took me in because I had nowhere else. It will be nice to stay somewhere I'm not judged. Of course if you've changed your mind it's okay, that's your right. And I meant it; I will do anything to help out. It's the least I could do, especially after what you did for me.

I cannot thank you enough, it has made my year seeing that. And yes, I did see it. You just didn't see me. Too busy defending my honour I guess. I know I'm probably way off base here but I couldn't help feeling like it was for me. Sorry if that seems arrogant, but it made me smile anyway.

You really want to know about Joanna?

Well, she's not my girlfriend. And I don't know if I'm interested in her or not. We used to go dancing together when we were little, she's a couple of years older than me. We ran into each other a few months ago and started hanging out a bit. I liked talking to her, she was easy to open up to. Kinda like you.

I liked spending time with her, and one night we'd been watching movies at hers and she offered to walk me home. On the way we stopped under the bridge and ... I kissed her. I don't know why I did it, I just did. It's been kind of awkward between us since then. She didn't freak out, but she doesn't really talk to me much anymore either. If that wasn't bad enough, Sam was stood on the Bridge at the time.

I guess I had had these feelings before but didn't know what they were. And that night, under the moon, I guess I got carried away.

But no, she's not my girlfriend. Although there is someone I'm interested in...

Quinn


	29. November 28th, 2010

Dear Quinn,

You're very welcome though I don't understand quite why you are saying thank you. Of course I would accept you no matter what; you're one of my closest friends. I'm very glad you told me, by the way.

You're mom needs to take the stick out of her you know what and open her eyes. You're an amazing and talented girl who is going to be something big someday and if she chooses to separate from you then it is entirely her own fault for missing the amazing progress and future that is Quinn Fabray. You should never feel bad for telling someone who you are because you shouldn't be ashamed of it. You're a beautiful person inside and out and that all that ever matters.

The offer is still on the table and I would love it so much if you would come and stay with me. My dads have already cleared out the guest bedroom and have cleaned it top to bottom so that it's all tidy for you. You don't need to pay rent or buy food so keep your money in case you see something you really want, we want you to feel at home and paying rent or whatever isn't going to give you that homey feeling. My dads are so excited to meet you and they're kind of already acting like you're their own…

I'm glad it made your year and I'm happy that I surprisingly didn't get into trouble for it. You don't have to hide from me or anyone for that matter. Be who you are because who you are is kind of really beautiful.

I'm glad Joanna isn't your girlfriend unless you wanted her to be I suppose; then it would be bad. She seems nice enough and I know what you mean about getting caught up in the moment. You said she's kind of like me so what exactly makes us different?

Who are you interested in? Spill.

By the way… Your honor is nothing compared to your happiness.

Yours Truly,  
Rachel Berry


	30. November 29th, 2010

Dear Rachel

My mom won't budge on this issue. She was brought up in a very strict Catholic family and there is no way she would accept a daughter who is ... well, whatever I am. I haven't quite decided yet.

If the offer is still good then yes, I'd love to move in with you. I promise it won't be long term, and if you won't let me pay then I can at least help with tidying up or something. I don't want to impose on you any more than I am.

I'm kind of excited to meet your dads too, but kind of nervous too. Don't ask why, I just am. Although at least I know that they're not going to judge me.

You know, I was so worried about telling anyone, and now that I have it actually feels a little better. I'm still confused as hell, but I'm not so worried about it anymore. The last few weeks I've felt like ii was suffocating. Now, I can breathe again. That sounds so cheesy, right?

Thank you again for standing up to Coach Sylvester, I'm glad that you didn't get in trouble. I'd hate for that to happen because of me.

And thank you for ... just thank you for what you said. You know what I mean.

Joanna is nice; I bet you'd like her. I guess what makes you different is that you're more free and outspoken than she is. She can be very reserved at times. But you're both smart, and funny and sweet. And I can talk to you both.

As for your last question ... no. There are a few things you don't need to know about me, and if you want to know that one you're going to have to guess. :)

Quinn


	31. December 1st, 2010

Dear Quinn,

You can stay as long as you like; my home is your home. That way you have somewhere to go that you don't have to worry about your mother or school or anything else that bothers you. Plus if you're at my house I know that you're safe and not somewhere living out of your car or something worse.

I'm also really glad you're excited to meet my dad's; you're going to love them… I promise.

I'll meet you after practice today and we'll go to my place.

I have no idea who you could like. Since you're kind of amazing I'm assuming whoever it is really special. Just tell me?

Yours Truly,  
Rachel Berry


	32. December 17th, 2010

Dear Rachel

I'm so sorry.

I overstepped a line and I cannot apologise enough. I guess I don't have to tell you who it is I like now.

I know you're straight and you don't feel the same, I saw it in your face. I should never have kissed you and I don't blame you if you hate me because I hate myself more than ever. I can't believe I managed to mess up another friendship. And I wouldn't even care, except I really do like you, as a friend as well as ...

Anyway, you don't have to worry about me anymore; I won't be in your way.

I just wanted to say sorry, and thank you for everything you've done for me. I never would have made it through the last few months without you. These last few weeks, living with you, its been the best time of my life and I will never forget it.

You're my hero.

I love you.

Quinn


	33. December 18th, 2010

Quinn Fabray,

Where are you? I have searched high and low in Lima and I cannot find a single trace of you anywhere.

I don't care if you over stepped a boundary or if you think I'm straight but I kind of liked it but that's neither here nor there. Please just come home because without you there it takes a way a bit of that home. If you come back I promise it won't be weird and I can accommodate you however you see fit. I just…

God damn it Quinn, I miss you so much. I need you to come home because I am so lonely and heart broken and I… I need you. Does that make any sense? Screw it, I don't care anymore. I need you so would just come back?

This is so messed up Quinn. What's done is done don't let it ruin this friendship or whatever it is that we have because I am so accustom to it that I feel like I'm suffocating.

I don't even know if you're going to get this but I have to try.

I love you too and I miss you,  
Rachel Berry


	34. December 20th, 2010

Dear Rachel

You liked it? Really?

I can't come back. I'm sorry, I just ... I need to know what you want, because I've been thinking and I really need you Rach. With Joanna I was just experimenting I guess, but with you ... it's more than that. I know in my heart that it's more.

Do you really need me? Or do you just miss me. Because honestly I cannot bare to be around you if all I'm ever going to be is a friend.

None of this is your fault, and I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to pressure you. I just need to know where you stand.

I've messed everything up so many times, I cannot stand dealing with the consequences again. Not if it means I have to see you every day and deal with these feelings every day. So the only way I can deal with it is to run away.

I know that none of this is fair on you, and I'm so sorry for dragging you into my mess. I wish I'd never written that damn letter in the first place, then I wouldn't have ruined your life like this.

I'm so sorry. I wish I could come back and see you again, but I can't face it right now.

You looked really pretty today. I wish I'd told you that more often.

Quinn


	35. December 21st, 2010

Dear Quinn,

Yes I liked it and the more I think back on it the more I liked it.

Quinn I have no idea what I want. I like you, I do and I care about you so much. I need you so badly and no matter how hard I try to push it out my head the more it rings through and I'm starting to feel like I'm lost without you. Right now I don't know what the hell I am but I know I want you so badly that it hurts.

Right now you're running from this and all I want is for you to come back so we can work through it together. No matter what I promise you will never mess us up; so come home and deal with things with me rather than without me.

Please don't ever regret writing that letter because that would mean you regret my happiness. If you take it back you take away how unbelievably happy I've been since then and had I not wanted for some kind of bond to happen between us I wouldn't have returned a letter.

Please come back and stop hiding from me, I just need to see you.

Love,  
Rachel


	36. December 24th, 2010

_Dear Rachel_

_I want so badly to believe that this is true. That you need me as much as I need you, but right now I feel like this is all a big dream and if it is true then I don't ever want to wake up. _

_I don't regret your happiness, not ever. All I want is for you to be happy and I would do anything in my power to make you happy. _

_I'm sorry for all the hurt I've caused you. _

_I love you_

_Quinn_

She hadn't even realised she was crying until two tear drops landed on the paper, quivering in her trembling hands. She gasped and tried in vain to wipe them away with her thumb but it was too late. They had soaked into the paper, forever a reminder.

She turned and pressed her back against the lockers, tears streaming freely. She looked a mess but she didn't care. And apparently neither did anyone else.

"It is true." She gasped weakly, clutching the letter to her chest. "It is true." She repeated, though barely a whisper.

"I know." The quiet voice was lost in the crowd, but she heard it clear as day. Eyes flying open, tears still flowing, she turned.

And there, no less than ten feet away, was Quinn Fabray.

"I'm sorry." The blonde whispered, inching a step closer. Rachel didn't move. She continued to stare, eyes wide, as Quinn moved like a ghost through the crowd, barely noticed. Once she was stopped she was so close to Rachel that they could feel each other's breath. Now, people began to stop and stare, and by the time their lips met, the hallway was silent.


	37. The End

One year ago today a letter had changed her life and she couldn't help but smile as she walked down the cold and dark streets of Lima, Ohio hand-in-hand with her girlfriend. She had never been so in love before and it was both terrifying and exhilarating at the exact same time.

So much had happened since the last letter; Quinn had come out, told a majority of the cheerleaders to screw themselves and finally gave Sue Sylvester a piece of her mind. Rachel had convinced Quinn to come back to live with her and she had been accepted into Julliard an entire year before graduation.

In 6 month they would graduate and the girls would be moving to New York to take on the huge city together and Rachel was sure that it would put strain on their relationship and pull it's strings as far as it could but the brunette was confident that she could bare that as long as she had Quinn.

She looked up at the blonde and smiled again before slowly pressing her lips to Quinn's.

Who knew one singular letter could spiral into something amazing.


	38. ThankYou

Hello everyone!

We just wanted to give you all a quick thank you for waiting patiently for updates, giving amazing reviews and favoriting. We feel so humbled to have such amazing readers and we're glad we could have shared our little dip into letter writing via Faberry with you all.

You guys are such amazing people!

Much love,  
Jessica Wilson and K.C. Dragonfly


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